Finding What's Important - by removing life's clutter

Two Fallen Trees

When I was in the 6th grade, all the 6th graders were bussed up to a retreat in the mountains. All the schools in the area would do this every year. It was our last time together before we moved on to the big and scary Junior High. One of the biggest life lessons I learned that week, I learned on a nature walk during that trip.

Our guide on the nature walk had us split into groups. Our mission was we had to pretend that we were lost in the forest and we needed to build a shelter for the evening. The guide, after the time was up, would pick the best team. I saw 2 fallen trees laying side by side perfectly parallel. Our whole team could have easily fit between them. If we just laid a bunch of branches over the top it would have been the perfect shelter. The problem I had (and interestingly enough our whole group had) with the trees was that it was just too easy. It was like someone had purposely laid the trees down perfectly to make it easy for us. We all ignored the trees and began creating an elaborate tent. For being a group of 6th graders we did a pretty good job but with just a little gust of wind it would have fallen over.

As you might have guessed, we lost. The group that used the 2 trees won. Back then I felt we were cheated and that the group that won took the easy way out. Looking back on it years later I realize how stupid I was for not just going for the fallen trees. Our group found them first but passed on it.

The lesson I learned and I continue to learn is that I tend to want to do things the hard way. I want to invent something new that no one else had ever done before. The truth is that in this life we aren’t called to just pull thoughts or ideas out of thin air. We build on those who came before us. I need to be okay with taking those ideas that have been successful in the past and put my own spin on them.

Every great invention was inspired by something or someone that came before. Are you trying too hard to do things your own way? Are you feeling anxious and burned out? Are there 2 fallen trees that you are ignoring?

Don’t feel stupid for asking for help and allowing other people to come along side of you and help you. We are all on this journey of life together and we were never meant to do this alone. Build on what came before you and learn from those who have walked a similar path.

Updated on: August 30th, 2016

You don’t have to earn the right to spend time with yourself

In recent years, I’ve learned to be more present. I am most present when I schedule one-on-one time with someone. I want to be there in the moment, and I hope that people notice that. I wasn’t always like this, but over time, I learned to be this way. I know how it feels when someone I am with is not paying attention to me, and so I now try not to be that person to someone else.

When I am not around other people, I can go back to overthinking and not being present. Sometimes, that is great because I am good at planning for what’s next, but I struggle with turning that part of my brain off unless I spend quality time with another person.

I need to learn how to be the person for myself that I am for other people. I know that I need to do that, but sometimes, I fall into a false sense that I need to earn those moments. I know it’s a lie but can be hard to overcome.

So last week I had to spend the day at the hospital. The purpose of this post is not to go into why I was there, but I was there. I felt a sense of peace while there. I did need to look at my phone occasionally, but I made a point not to use it as a distraction but as a tool. So, I didn’t spend time browsing the internet, watching YouTube, or listening to podcasts. I would close my eyes and listen to my surroundings. When Someone was helping me, I would take the time to be present and interact with those helping me. I could tell they appreciated it, and a few of the staff went out of their way to tell me that I made their day, which made me feel special. It did help that I have a great team at work that I knew could take up the slack while I was gone, which made it easier to take that break.

So how can I do that for myself more often?

My goal for this coming week is to spend time with myself and not feel like I have to earn that time. That is my time, and I must listen and be kind to myself. I am not a slave to my thoughts. They are valuable tools that only mean to help. I will allow them to be still as I am still.

I need to be okay with silence, both externally and internally.

Updated on: March 23rd, 2025